Ever get that feeling....

Dear Reader,

Every get that feeling that life is missing a little zest? I wonder what causes these moments...or days.... When things are going too good, so right...sometimes that little nagging voice will say " Is there more?" Today that voice is speaking to me... I'm very firmly telling it to "SHUT UP"!

Life is great, wonderful, fulfilling and I have the photos to prove it!!!

pumpkin patch fun

Family Home Evening at the pumpkin patch!

It was a perfect night to hit the pumpkin patch. I made a corn chowder and a peanut butter pie from new recipes i found off of The Pioneer Woman blog. Both things sooo easy to make and soooo delicious! I had my in -laws over and as well as my adorable preggers sister in law. They gobble up the soup!

After dinner we hit the pumpkin patch...or rather "rip off patch"!! Wow...it was 50 dollars to do the different "rides" that the kids wanted to do. Only in orange county can they charge that! Next year, i'm finding the cheaper pumpkin patch so that family night doesn't make us go broke! HA. But as always it a great night. The air was nippy and the moon bright in the sky. My craving for fall weather was fulfilled!
Happy Monday everyone!

kristen

Fall

Dear reader ,
Fall is finally in the air !!! I couldn't be more happy ! So sick of sweating to death every day ! Yesterday it rained and Sydney said " look mom it's raining ... It's your favorite holiday !!! Hahaha. Shows how much it rains here in southern Cali !
Had a wonderful sabbath ! My sister and brother in law back in our ward for a few weeks . Missed them so much !! Wish they could stay !
Lesson was on self reliance .. For ourselves and for teaching our children how to be  m
More self reliant ! Such a great reminder .
As I sit here writing .. Sounds of football on the tv surround me ... Oh ... How I love fall !! Please . Please let's keep this cool weather ! Maybe I'll just light a fire .....

changes...

dear reader,





Life always brings change...and unless I want the change I DON'T like it!! Simple things like my favorite grocery store closing, friends moving, etc.. can shake me a little and remind me that nothing in the world is forever. It makes me cherish my little children that much more knowing that all too soon they will be gone and instead of bickering, laughter and smiles my home will be filled with silence. True most days i wish for the silence..but i know I'm sure not going to like it when its an every day thing.





In our extended family we had a big change..wont' go into any detail because it didn't affect me personally but all day I've been thinking about change and the choices we sometimes make that cause them. It has been on my mind all day how people can change so much..though it this case i don't think it was really a big change...just people admitting they are not who they should be. It's funny how change has such a ripple effect for good or bad. I wish we could control the change life brings but i know that is impossible. I just hope i can be strong and roll with it and stay on the Lord path so that i am guided to who i am meant to be...and i know that involves change...but at least its for the better!

Lord let me get through this day....

Dear Reader,

Ever have one of those days when you wonder how you are going to get to the next minute without losing your mind??? Today is one of those days....correct that....the past few weeks have been like that. I do not know what the heck is up with my twins, but they are hell bent on driving me right to the mental hospital.

The consent bickering between them is mind boggling and the competitiveness is crazy!! We can't do ANYTHING without there being a winner! Who gets out of the car first...who gets upstairs first, who poops first! (ok, maybe not the last one but it sure feels like it). I remember this age being very difficult with my son as well. honestly I don't remember motherhood getting "easy" until around the age of five. Our nine year old is AWESOME!!! Sure he isn't perfect but he is a great kid and we as his parents we enjoy him sooo much.

I know this soon will pass and my little girls will be big...though I am afraid there will always be drama because they are girls and well....twins.
I had a major breakdown after a ill fated trip to target..Thankfully, my great neighbor somehow sensed something was up and came over. So embarrassed that I bawled like a baby in front of her. but she took the kids out so I could gain my composure! it was a help even if just for that moment. Poor girl...i swear after seeing motherhood through my eyes she is never going to have e kids!!!! She sees the good, the bad and the ugly of it all!

I love my girls so much and gosh they are just so cute and I feel so lucky to have them and be with them that i hate when i have these days that I feel like I just would like to runaway and never look back :( So instead of doing that I'll just eat a bunch of homemade cookies...

I'll regret it later...but today is most defiantly a chocolate cookie day!!!

kristen

How would i be remembered??

This week has been a real "thinker" for me. As most of you know, Kim Mendal passed and though i only knew her through my sister-in-law and two years at tot-lot... I've come to admire who she was through the thoughts of others. It was made me ponder , "How would I be remembered if I passed to the other side today?" I can tell you this much, from all that I've read about Kim...I am nothing like her!!! Now I know, I"m sure she wasn't perfect and struggled with things but i have found myself thinking of her often and wondering how i can be more like her.

When I get impatient with my children , I think of how she is the same age as me and will no longer get to hold her children in this life, when I feel like the day is just dragging on, I think of how she will no longer enjoy a nap, a hot bath after a long day....a good book or the simple laughter of her family.

Death always does this to people, it is the true reminder of what is important. THings like those extra 5 pounds that are driving me crazy...are not important. (though i will still keep working them off, having just the right outfit isn't important etc. What is important is how i spend the time with those around me and how i effect those who know me.

Kim, seemed to really get the important stuff in life. I'm happy that even though she died young seemed to live her life well. My heart aches for her children and family who are left behind. I have no doubt that she is alive and well on the other side doing what is being asked of her.

I hope that i have many, many more years with my children and family, i hope that I caN be an old woman, with wrinkly hands, a leaky bladder and that slight smell of medicine and perfume that older people have. I hope I walk slowly because of ripe old age, I hope I die "warm in by b ed" (Titanic) THis blessing I yearn for...but most of all, i hope that when I pass i will have become that type of person kim seemed to be. Loving, warm, selfless, full of service ....I want to touch peoples lives the way she did...of course with my own special touch that only "kristen HOke can provide!

Im still me after all but today I am grateful that Kim has taught me a lot in her death...and I didn't even know her that well. I can't imagine the imprint she has left on those close to her.... I part of me is extremely sad that I never really knew her...for I know that she would have blessed my life.

I'm so thankful that people like her on this earth to teach the rest of us how life should be lived.

Thank you Kim...

kristen

Feeling spiritually nourished...

What a great day at church i had! Aaron stayed home with our crazy girls so i was able to bring Coby and actually hear what the speakers were saying!! It was a dream! I know i only have a few more years until every Sunday will be like this...and then i may be hoping for a distraction!!
A convert to the church spoke about her conversion. She has only been a member for six months and her faith in the gospel just blew me away. It was amazing and made me want to be that much better!
It was such a great part to such a beautiful day. The weather out here in southern California puts me in such a bright mood. I feel so blessed to live where I do, have the family I do, and have the testimony that I do.
Sorry that this blog is a little spiritual today...it's just what was on my mind.
I"m sure next time I"ll be talking more about the craziness of life but I'm going to soak in this little moment of peace and clarity :)