Dear Reader,
Ever have one of those days when you wonder how you are going to get to the next minute without losing your mind??? Today is one of those days....correct that....the past few weeks have been like that. I do not know what the heck is up with my twins, but they are hell bent on driving me right to the mental hospital.
The consent bickering between them is mind boggling and the competitiveness is crazy!! We can't do ANYTHING without there being a winner! Who gets out of the car first...who gets upstairs first, who poops first! (ok, maybe not the last one but it sure feels like it). I remember this age being very difficult with my son as well. honestly I don't remember motherhood getting "easy" until around the age of five. Our nine year old is AWESOME!!! Sure he isn't perfect but he is a great kid and we as his parents we enjoy him sooo much.
I know this soon will pass and my little girls will be big...though I am afraid there will always be drama because they are girls and well....twins.
I had a major breakdown after a ill fated trip to target..Thankfully, my great neighbor somehow sensed something was up and came over. So embarrassed that I bawled like a baby in front of her. but she took the kids out so I could gain my composure! it was a help even if just for that moment. Poor girl...i swear after seeing motherhood through my eyes she is never going to have e kids!!!! She sees the good, the bad and the ugly of it all!
I love my girls so much and gosh they are just so cute and I feel so lucky to have them and be with them that i hate when i have these days that I feel like I just would like to runaway and never look back :( So instead of doing that I'll just eat a bunch of homemade cookies...
I'll regret it later...but today is most defiantly a chocolate cookie day!!!
kristen
Monday, March 14, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
How would i be remembered??
This week has been a real "thinker" for me. As most of you know, Kim Mendal passed and though i only knew her through my sister-in-law and two years at tot-lot... I've come to admire who she was through the thoughts of others. It was made me ponder , "How would I be remembered if I passed to the other side today?" I can tell you this much, from all that I've read about Kim...I am nothing like her!!! Now I know, I"m sure she wasn't perfect and struggled with things but i have found myself thinking of her often and wondering how i can be more like her.
When I get impatient with my children , I think of how she is the same age as me and will no longer get to hold her children in this life, when I feel like the day is just dragging on, I think of how she will no longer enjoy a nap, a hot bath after a long day....a good book or the simple laughter of her family.
Death always does this to people, it is the true reminder of what is important. THings like those extra 5 pounds that are driving me crazy...are not important. (though i will still keep working them off, having just the right outfit isn't important etc. What is important is how i spend the time with those around me and how i effect those who know me.
Kim, seemed to really get the important stuff in life. I'm happy that even though she died young seemed to live her life well. My heart aches for her children and family who are left behind. I have no doubt that she is alive and well on the other side doing what is being asked of her.
I hope that i have many, many more years with my children and family, i hope that I caN be an old woman, with wrinkly hands, a leaky bladder and that slight smell of medicine and perfume that older people have. I hope I walk slowly because of ripe old age, I hope I die "warm in by b ed" (Titanic) THis blessing I yearn for...but most of all, i hope that when I pass i will have become that type of person kim seemed to be. Loving, warm, selfless, full of service ....I want to touch peoples lives the way she did...of course with my own special touch that only "kristen HOke can provide!
Im still me after all but today I am grateful that Kim has taught me a lot in her death...and I didn't even know her that well. I can't imagine the imprint she has left on those close to her.... I part of me is extremely sad that I never really knew her...for I know that she would have blessed my life.
I'm so thankful that people like her on this earth to teach the rest of us how life should be lived.
Thank you Kim...
kristen
When I get impatient with my children , I think of how she is the same age as me and will no longer get to hold her children in this life, when I feel like the day is just dragging on, I think of how she will no longer enjoy a nap, a hot bath after a long day....a good book or the simple laughter of her family.
Death always does this to people, it is the true reminder of what is important. THings like those extra 5 pounds that are driving me crazy...are not important. (though i will still keep working them off, having just the right outfit isn't important etc. What is important is how i spend the time with those around me and how i effect those who know me.
Kim, seemed to really get the important stuff in life. I'm happy that even though she died young seemed to live her life well. My heart aches for her children and family who are left behind. I have no doubt that she is alive and well on the other side doing what is being asked of her.
I hope that i have many, many more years with my children and family, i hope that I caN be an old woman, with wrinkly hands, a leaky bladder and that slight smell of medicine and perfume that older people have. I hope I walk slowly because of ripe old age, I hope I die "warm in by b ed" (Titanic) THis blessing I yearn for...but most of all, i hope that when I pass i will have become that type of person kim seemed to be. Loving, warm, selfless, full of service ....I want to touch peoples lives the way she did...of course with my own special touch that only "kristen HOke can provide!
Im still me after all but today I am grateful that Kim has taught me a lot in her death...and I didn't even know her that well. I can't imagine the imprint she has left on those close to her.... I part of me is extremely sad that I never really knew her...for I know that she would have blessed my life.
I'm so thankful that people like her on this earth to teach the rest of us how life should be lived.
Thank you Kim...
kristen
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